Scary Sextoy Friday: Is that a dildo on your chest, or....?

Today’s finding, dear readers, is a slight modification on the Accommodator, which is a dildo you strap to your chin to enhance oral sex.

’Cept someone decided to strap it to their chest!





Ok, so I sort of get the design here: this probably works best as a toy for men; you can take it up the bum while your partner, the wear-ee, is giving you a beej.

However, I don’t think this would work for a woman, as her partner may well snap his or her neck in attempting to kick the field goal, if you know what I mean. Now wouldn’t that make for a fun visit to the chiropractor?

But I digress: the real reason I dislike this toy is because it totally reminds me of the alien chestburster — but, like, with a dildo.

Which got me thinking, how funny would that be — a pornographic version of Alien?

“In deep space, no one can hear you cum.”

And add in the face sucker, and oh my! The possibilities are just ENDLESS.