THE CONCUBINE
Or, as I like to call it: The Chernobyl Concubine Love Mound o' Wrong!
(That’s the name of my new punk band!)
Seriously, though: this here, folks, is proof that really can’t have it all at once. If you want a vibrating pussy, great! If you want a dildo, go for it! If you want some plastic titty fucking – you go!
But don’t attempt to combine all these toys into a handy dandy one-stop wanking....
...because you’ll wind up with this freakish, warped, demented sexdoll reject culled straight from the radiation dump. Or Picasso’s naughty sketch book.
So unless you have some sort of bizarre, post-Apocalyptic mutant fantasy, I can’t actually see a useful purpose for this here rubbery wad of genitalia. Except maybe to scare the shit out of your party guests.
Clearly, this is for the people in the Scary Sextoy audience who can't afford the full-on Contortionist Lovedoll O' Fail.
ReplyDelete...Which gender is this made for? I do not understand it. :(
ReplyDeleteI'd hit it two times.
ReplyDeleteWhat... the... hell?
ReplyDeleteWow, yeah, okay. This was why I was pointed to your hilarious blog. A couple years ago, I was failing miserably to get sketchbook commissions at a convention (I was a prude who draws clean stuff amidst a sea of porn peddlers... sorry, artists of tasteful nudes... right). Frustrated, I doodled a penis attached to breasts and somehow the buyers sensed the change; suddenly I got customers.
I thought that whole experience and my doodle were wrong, but this takes wrong to a whole new level.
Honestly, with enough booze I could probably use this, you know, except for the penis sticking out the top...
ReplyDeleteIt perplexes me. See, the rest of this mutant doo-dad is female, or at least the likeness of certain bits, but there's just a random cockhead sitting up top. It's too short to do anything with, but it's right in the way of titty-banging... It's perhaps one of the most literal definitions of "cock block".
I'm not quite sure what the target audience is supposed to be, nor do I feel I'll regret if I never end up meeting them, but I now have an unquenchable curiosity - dark depths of the internet, here I come!