Scary Sextoy Friday: The Sweeper

Today's selection is another reader submission, from frequent contributor Laudanum, who is always first to let me know when she finds a particularly horrific sex apparatus!

And this one's a doozy:



Whoa! Careful where you point that thing, buddy!

I've seen toys like this before, a combo of the gas mask fetish and The Accommodator.

But I've never seen one quite this....lengthy. Cripes, you could please your partner across the street with this bad boy on.

And being the accident-prone klutz I am, this just looks like a comedy of errors in the making; with one sweeping turn of your head you could take out an eye, a vase, a stained glass window, who knows what else?

In fact, all I can think of when I look at this is a fetishy version of Benny Hill: the clumsy sub wearing this proceeds to knock over shelves of delicate china and expensive bondage equipment each time he turns his head, while furious dommes chase him around the room as Yakkety Sax plays in the background.

Hell, throw a latex gorilla in there and I would TOTALLY watch that movie.

Don't lie - you would too!