To which I probably said, HUR, been there, done that!
Remember, folks: you heard it hear first at Scary Sextoy Friday!
But since I last waxed ecstatic over the brilliantly fucked up minds at Elastica Engineering, they have been hard at work at developing even more deliciously demented sextoys & accouterments.
And, thankfully, they have finally solved one of the pressing fashion dilemmas of all time: what do I wear to a tentacle porn opera?
Why, tentacle opera gloves, of course!
(Note: I have no idea if a full-length live tentacle porn opera actually exists, but since I just typed it, I believe rule #34 will now take effect and we'll be seeing it on off-off-off Broadway any day now.)
But I digress: these Latex Squid Diddler Gloves feature "full hand enclosure with NO FINGERS these squid tentacle themed long opera gloves are a fun costume piece and a light bondage game all in one suction cup encrusted package!"
Dude, come on. Tell me you don't want to wear these are run around the office squawking like a... uh... tentacle beast.
By the way, quick SSF Public Service Announcement: Not All Tentacle Beasts Are Rapists.
But perhaps you're not headed to the tentacle porn opera - maybe you're just going to the tentacle porn open mic and need something that's a little less formal?
Never fear! They have a wrist length option for all of your informal tentacle porn social obligations!
I'm sure Mr. Blackwell would approve.
Why do I want some of these? WHY?!
ReplyDeleteBecause they look like way too much FUN, that's why! I totally want a pair!
ReplyDeleteWow, these would actually work perfectly with the Anime burlesque night we are putting on. The fellas at G-4 requested a tentacle porn act. Voila!
ReplyDeleteI think this is THE FIRST post you have put on SSTF that had me thinking "WANT."
ReplyDeleteWhat??? I'm... puzzled. I mean, I like things with tentacles. I have a gorgeous print by Eliza Lazo de Valdez that is sexxxxxxy.
ReplyDeleteBut... what?
What the fuck?
ReplyDeleteIf only they came with working suction cups
ReplyDeleteDo they have them in blue? I want to be Squidward for Halloween next year. :D
ReplyDeleteI did a post on these, too. I still keep wondering about that pink set. Are those pimples, or does it have some sort of STD? Blech... As a tentacle lover, I have to pass on these. They look like a craft project from little kids, not professionally done at all.
ReplyDeleteI'm missing the point of these... what are the point of these? Am I that virginal that I'm missing where the light bondage comes into play with these things?... unless you tie the full length gloves around someones wrists?
ReplyDelete... I'm so confused. :(
@Jessica Rabbit
ReplyDeleteI know this is an older post, but I'm guessing you've never seen mitt-balls?
http://www.tickleberry.co.uk/products/images/products/metal-fist-mitts.jpg
They can be used for anything from senso-dep to "point & laugh while they try to obey your command to 'make the bed'". :)
So the comic is now defunct, and the first page is Alan Moore Yaoi, but its about tentacle monsters and the women who love them. Remember kids, not all tentacle monsters are rapists. http://www.ghastlycomic.com/
ReplyDelete