Scary Sextoy Friday: The Pachyderm That's Packin'

Way back when Scary Sextoy Friday started in summer of 2009, one of the first toys I wrote about was Ele the Elephant.

In some ways, I yearn for those days of innocence, when I was simply amused by the idea of silly blue jelly elephant vibrator, and my yet-unscarred psyche never would have dreamed that someone out there would render a massive, wrinkly, gray, 16-inch elephant trunk dildo.

Those days, my friend, are long gone.

And oh yes, they did.







The perfect addition to your ultimate Dumbo slash/fic furry party, this here 7-pound, 16-inch whopper from Exotic Erotics is a shocking bargain at a mere $162!

From the product's delightfully alliterative description:

This pleasant pachyderm's probing proboscis wants only to please perverts, providing people with plenty of pleasure.

The trunk can be tender, taking time to tickle and tease, or its wrinkles can be rough, ramming your rear while rubbing it raw.

Now that's a Trunk Show! Heyo!

The only way this toy could be any better is if they implanted a tiny soundchip inside so that every time you, uh, waggled it, the following sound would trumpet forth.

I kinda want one so I can stampede around the office with it. Don't lie - you do too!