So.
This week's entry is really fucked up.
Not just normal SSF fucked up.
No, I mean REALLY SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP.
Like, when I first saw this, my contact lens actually popped out of my eye. Not only is this the truth, I refuse to believe it's a coincidence.
My dear readers, please gird your loins, and have your barf bag ready. And do what you can to prepare yourself for:
THE SEVERED HEAD MASTURBATOR:
Yeah, that really just happened.
So, apparently this photo was snapped at the Shanghai Sex Expo. Here's the full photo, and the only one I can find:
I actually have no other information about this item, despite some serious Googling for "severed head sextoy" which will probably earn me an inquiry from the government...but I did discover there's a 1976 movie called Bloodsucking Freaks, in which an actor named Luis "The Anal Dwarf" de Jesus uses a severed head as a sex toy. Whoa, adding that to my Netflix queue!
But I digress. I see a serious product oversight, though - from what I can tell, the mouth hole doesn't open, so you can't have 2-person party: "get some head while you're getting some head!"
And ff this horrifying creation feels vaguely familiar, it's because we've already covered severed body part sextoys here, namely the infamous Pussyfoot.
Which would apparently would make an excellent companion piece for your ultimate Serial Killer Fantasy Scene.
Also, WTF is up with the boobs on the back of the head???
No words. Just... no words.
This might just be the most fucked up one yet, y'all.
And speaking of which! Next year is SSF's 2 year anniversary, so I'd like to compile a little retrospective of reader's favorite toys (and by favorite, I mean most reviled and vomit-inducing, natch)
So, what have been your favorite Scary Sextoys? Email me at scarysextoyfriday@gmail.com, or comment below, and I'll work on putting together a Worst Hits for next week's anniversary edition.
Yours in Scary Sextoys,
-Molly Mounds
I found it a little frightening that the woman standing in front of the display for it has the same haircut.
ReplyDeleteWhy does she have that high-necked coat and turtleneck on, anyway....? SUSPICIONS AROUSED
Baby Jesus Buttplug! Baby Jesus Buttplug! So delightfully strange and wonderful.
ReplyDeleteI think this one is my favorite so far.
ReplyDeleteI think that's absolutely brilliant.
ReplyDeleteYe fucking gawds and little fishies. It's like something out of Sexy Losers.
ReplyDeleteYes, that is the second most fucked up thing you've had here. Fisthorn isn't even in the county. This is almost as bad as Rosemary's Baby.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite, and by that I mean the only one that's made me literally jump from my seat, has to be the Molestache.
ReplyDeleteAUGH. I went back to check in case my memory was tricking me. I swear, that thing gets uglier by the second.
The Jewel Plugs Buttlight was the entry that had me unable to walk for laughing. That gets my vote!
ReplyDeleteIt looks like the manufacturer took the statement "getting some head" a bit too literally.
ReplyDeleteI love the Mangina b/c of the non-breathable material, the little butthole plastic thing hanging pitifully off the back and just the sheer hopelessness of it all.
ReplyDeleteThat's just creepy O.o
ReplyDeleteHigh Tension also has a severed head sex scene.
ReplyDeleteTaking fetishes to a whole new level haha
ReplyDeletelol... the foot is hella funnie ...
ReplyDeleteUnrelated: When "Bloodsucking Freaks" was released theatrically (yes, it happened,) there was a tie-in of straws. People got straws when they came to see the movie.
ReplyDeleteits a handy dandy sex toy, compacted into just a head! in case carrying around a whole blow up doll is too much of a hassle. LOL
ReplyDeleteSegmenting womens' bodies and turning them literally into objects is not healthy for anyone. Not for women and the violence they face, nor for the people who get the idea that this is OK, and thus cannot see women as full human beings.
ReplyDelete