“They’ll put vaginas on anything these days.”
Yes, they will. As evidenced by the Severed Head Masturbator, the PussyFoot, the Chernobyl Concubine, and...oh Christ, that’s more than enough.
So, now presenting from the “Let’s randomly slap a vag on it and call it a day” sextoy school of thought: ladies and gentlemen, enjoy the Titty Fuck-Her
Oh, society. How did we wind up here?
So, obviously, this is a more literal – and fucked up – interpretation of titty fucking. I think what I find most disturbing, however, is the fact that the product description doesn’t even acknowledge that this poor fake woman has a vagina attached to her breastbone. Like, isn’t that something you acknowledge? Hello, white elephant in the room... I mean, how does the poor thing wear bras? I don't even want to think about her wearing underwire, OUCH!
Anyway, I’m guessing this would be useful for the traveling businessman on the go who can't bear to go without his cyberskin fuckdoll, but needs a more compact version. And voila! Ol’ Pussy Tit here can neatly fit into the overhead compartment on the plane and no one will ever know. Well, TSA will, and you better fucking believe they’re gonna Tweet about your creepy ass. But at least you & Ol’ Pussy Tit can safely travel together and never be apart. And that’s the important part, right?
Man, my job is fucked up.
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and the way to a woman's heart is through the vagina in her sternum? o.O
ReplyDeleteI guess this toy helps any man who fantasized about fucking a woman with a cock so long that he pummels her lungs. Rather than extend his penis to impossible lengths (and deal with all those tedious organs between the vagina and the chest), he can just stick his dick into a rib cage. Whee!
Actually, I think it's not a case of 'vagina on chest' and more 'breasts as ass cheeks'. You can see the shape of the truncated legs underneath...
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure which is more disturbing.
Front bumper of an Edsel?
ReplyDeleteseriously?
ReplyDeleteHysterically fucked up (and i LOVE your droll style!)
new to you, and seriously glad i was directed here...
nilla
who's vagina is right where it should be, thank you very much...
These titties are not symmetrical.
ReplyDeleteWell, it's realistic, but from a moulded toy I would have expected it not to disturb my OCD senses.
Also, wouldn't it actually be great to have nipples on your ass cheeks (as Anon pointed)? I mean, I spend more time caressing asses than breast, so, well, I don't know...
It may be problematic to sit, thou.
The only thing with the breasts-as-ass thing is then her vag is upside down.
ReplyDeleteI saw this yesterday as a new product at an online shop, and thought of this blog XD
Does it look like a goldfish face to anyone else?
ReplyDeletefreaky looking... i thought it was my Vision :)
ReplyDeleteAw come on! This thing is perfect!!! Cuts out everything a man does not need and leaves all he does! Fucking top notch!
ReplyDelete